“ Not Home Anymore “

4.18.23

Let me start by saying, that when you are becoming a new woman or man. You’re doing different things, trying to establish a new mindset. You have no business going where you used to go. Hanging around who you used to hang around. The most crucial thing when healing and growing is solitude. You have to be alone. I’ve been there , and it’s not fun. It gets lonely. Boring. Sometimes you think about inviting old people back in just because you want someone there. You have to be strong enough to remind yourself not to go looking for love in the same place that you lost it. Not to try to find company with friends who you can no longer relate to. Not to entertain connections who you know there is no future for. The only connection, the only companionship you need to focus on is the one with yourself. You are in the process of developing a stronger self awareness. So be self aware enough to know that you are not the old you anymore. Wake up and take a look around. You’re not doing the same things you used to do. You’re not responding the way you used to respond. You’re not thinking the same way you used to think. You are not the you that you thought you were ANYMORE. So this new you, who is still forming you can go back to where the old you played. You can’t go back to the love that the old you settled for. You can’t go back to the friends that the old you hung around just because you’ve known each for a long time. You can’t go back. That’s just not home anymore. That’s just not where you belong. All you’re doing is postponing all of the newness waiting to come into your life. If you want to continue growing and developing this new version of yourself you have to fully commit. There is no half in healing. Or you’ll be stuck in this in-between phase where you’re doing things that you know aren’t right for you, yet you do them anyway just because you’re alone. Learn to embrace the loneliness and give time for the new people to come in. Trust me that in-between phase of healing is a hard place to be in. You have to pick you though. You have to pick your future. Whatever connection or friendships you’re thinking about keeping around still won’t be the same because you aren’t the same. It’s okay to outgrow people. It’s okay to evolve past someone. It happens. The ones meant to be with you will always catch up. I’m a firm believer in that. Whoever’s meant to be in your life will never become a foreigner. Eventually their growth will always match up to yours, and you’ll be familiar again. If it doesn’t though that’s okay too. Take that risk and dive all the way in. Cut off who needs to go and spend time in your solitude. In your solitude you find more about yourself. The whole point is to become one with yourself. To be able to listen to only your heart. Only your ideas. Only your thoughts. Without the influence of all the other conditioned minds that you had around you. To fully commit to the new you , you have to put the old you to rest. Kill the last of him or her that doesn’t fit into who you want to be and take that leap of faith fully into your new future. I titled this post “ Not Home Anymore “ for a very specific reason. If you look at life like a house. The first one you live in, it’s built with the help of your parents, and their conditioning. Every friend you’ve ever had, and their different levels of thinking. Basically, that house was built by you and every other outside influence you’ve experienced up until the point that you’ve decided to change. That house you really had no control over any of the decorations, the floor plans, the windows, the doors, nothing. It was just given to you and you went with it just because that’s what you were used to. All of these people I know and love are helping me build my house a.k.a my life. Then one day you look around and you realize that this house looks the same way it always has. That nothing has changed. The people in it are still the same. Decorations are still the same. Instead of new things it’s just becoming dilapidated and dark. You realize that who you are and what you want to change. Your “ house “ doesn’t look like it can happen there. So you have to start over somewhere new, because that’s not home anymore. You have to pack up shop and leave. Go by yourself and spend sometime alone forgetting all of the “ construction “ tips that everyone else taught you and map out a floor plan for yourself. Figure out what decorations YOU want. Find out what kind of floorings YOU want to walk on. The kind of door that YOU want to open. Figure out what you want your new house looks like. Then when the time is right the partner or friend meant to help you build it will come into your life. You are about to build a whole new house from the ground up. Don’t let the construction team from the last house help you. You saw what happened to the last one. That is the perfect analogy for me. This new life is yours and yours only. So throw away the key to the other house. You’re never going back there again. This new you deserves a whole new environment with all the right people living in it with you. Thank you so much for reading. Share this post with your friends, family, social media, or anyone who needs help to learn to flow with life. Also if you haven’t already subscribe via email with the button below so you never miss any updates. If you don’t check your email on a regular basis , my blog also has an official instagram “ @speakwithloveblog “ you can follow me on there to also see all of my blog topics and updates. Enjoy the rest of your day. Remember to speak bold, speak bright, and most importantly speak with love 💕✨

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