“ R is for Reconciliation “

4.5.23

I’ve spoken about forgiveness on here , only in the aspect of other people wanting your forgiveness. What about when you want someone else’s forgiveness ? To reiterate the same Ghandi quote from the previous post about forgiveness, “ The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong “. The most important step before you can go and apologize to someone for hurting them or wronging them is to forgive yourself. If you still see a future with that person and still have love for them you need to be able to understand your own past actions before you make room for healing in the relationship. Once you have that down the next step is communicating. To digress, it’s not only giving forgiveness that requires strength , it’s also wanting forgiveness. To know that you messed up and you hurt someone that you care about and want to fix it. Not only “ want “ to fix it , but you take action to make the situation better. Now you can’t make someone forgive you and NEVER under any circumstances let anyone rub your mistakes in your face. That’s where we have to draw the line and let the connection go. True reconciliation requires both people to just surrender and communicate to mend what happened. That communication can’t just be you saying “ I’m sorry for what happened/ I did.” A true genuine apology will be equipped with accountability and you telling that person what you will be doing or not being doing moving forward to show that person you truly are sorry. It can seem scary to look the person you care about in the eyes and tell them your wrong doings and ask for them to forgive you. Like I said about fear though, if something scares you it means you’re about to do something really brave. People make mistakes. I make mistakes. You make mistakes. If it’s someone who you believe truly loves you they will find the courage in their heart to forgive you and have a faith in you that your behavior will change. The biggest mistake I know a lot of people make when apologizing is bringing the other person into it. When you are apologizing to reconcile there should never be anything other than “ I “ , like I said ACCOUNTABILITY is needed. If that person does decide to forgive you, be ready to prove to them and do your part in mending the bend that you created in the relationship. As the reconciliation conversation progresses both parties should end with an understanding of where the other person was coming from and why they did what they did or said what they said. This is my standpoint , if it’s someone that really loves you and someone that you really love. Don’t be cowardly and let the connection go when you know in your heart all you have to do is apologize. Pride can ruin a lot of great things in our lives, I’ve witnessed it first hand. It’s up to you as the person who wants the connection to move forward , to put on the big girl/boy panties, call that person or even go see them and let them know how you were feeling, apologize , explain your actions. Most importantly let them know that even though you have hurt them , you still love them and will prove it to them if given the chance. To me forgiveness is freedom. When someone gives you their forgiveness , you’re forgiving yourself , or if someone wants your forgiveness, you give yourself freedom from that situation. Freedom from the past hurt and mistakes. Most of all , the freedom to find more love in your relationship , even after the hurt. Thank you so much for reading. Share this post with your friends, family, social media, or anyone who needs a little bit of love in their day today.Also if you haven’t already subscribe via email with the button below so you never miss any updates. If you don’t check your email on a regular basis , my blog also has an official instagram “ @speakwithloveblog “ you can follow me on there to also see all of my blog topics and updates. Enjoy the rest of your day. Remember to speak bold, speak bright, and most importantly speak with love 💕✨

**Please also feel free to contact me via email or instagram dm to let me know any topics you want me to write about or need more insight on. I am also open to discuss anything you want privately between me and you if you need more insight on a certain topic or situation.