“ Through not Over”

5.3.23

As I was preparing for my first interview I was thinking about my past. A lot of times there can be a misconception when moving on from the past. A lot of people have the mindset that when something bad happens or something happens that they don’t like they just “ get over it “. All that does is leave room for a lot of suppressed emotions, and you’re closing yourself off from all of the growth that can happen from actually letting yourself experience what happened. Like when me and my sisters became estranged, I could’ve easily just said “ whatever. I’m over it “. Instead I sat with the hurt I felt. Some days I was sad and I missed them and the next I was happy living my life. At the end of it I’m okay living without them with no anger, resentment, or sadness. When you come across an obstacle in your life, look at it more as a tunnel you have to go through than a hurdle that you can just jump right over. This walk down this tunnel can be short in some situations and longer in others. It can be really really dark sometimes too and that’s okay. While going through it, you are alone with your thoughts, and you have nothing but time to feel everything. You’re giving yourself room to grow which is something that’s always needed. So next time something misfortunate happens in your life don’t immediately think to just get over it. That can seem like the easier option , to just “ let go and ignore it”, but its the heavier option as well. The weight off the emotions, things left unsaid, and your actions will still be attached to you. Whereas in this tunnel, you have time to look at every aspect and leave things behind and rearrange your mindset and life accordingly. That is how you heal. That is how you let go of the past. Don’t think for one second that you can just be “ over “ something that hurt you. You can’t just get “ over “ the words you heard. You have to chew your food before you swallow. The things that I’ve been through in my past were terrible. Some of the things that you’ve been through in your past have been terrible, but when you decided to actually allow yourself to go through them and not over. You come out a new person and that is the best outcome every time. Even if you’re thinking its a little change caused by sitting with an argument you’ve had with an ex or a friend. There is no such thing as little change because change is change it can not be categorized into size aspects such as big or small. Remember that choosing to just ignore something and get over it or pretend that it doesn’t bother as much as it does are all trauma responses. Those are responses of an unhealed person. Responses of a person who lacks courage to feel how they want to feel. The scariest thing when it comes to feeling your emotions is feeling like you have no control over it. That your heart and your mind are just doing what they want to do, but that’s not true. If you feel like you have no control in something that you view as uncontrollable, you want a tip to get it back ? Release the need for control. There you have real power. When I used to be the type of person that just wanted get over stuff as quick as possible, it was because I was scared that life wouldn’t wait for me. That it was a setback or something. It’s hilarious thinking about it now, but at the time I fully used to believe that feeling my emotions and letting myself go though the things that were happening to me was taking up time in my life that I couldn’t afford to lose. That’s not true either. When you’re walking through the tunnel of healing. There is so much life going on around you, but all you have to be focused on is you. Your mindset. Your growth. Focus in on what you want the world to look like when you finally make it out that tunnel. It’s called tunnel vision for a reason. I didn’t have the pleasure of having someone to walk through those tunnels with me. Its dark and its lonely, but I know there are a lot of relationships where some of y’all are fortunate enough to have that. So be grateful to have a hand to hold in the darkness, be grateful to have someone by your side while you working on you. Someone who loves you enough to grow through it with you. Let me not divulge too much into the love topic because I can talk about it for hours. The kind of relationships I’m speaking about though that’s what I aspire to have one day. That’s what we should all aspire to have. Let me digress though, what I want you to remember from todays post is that life is yours. Yours to live it. Yours to learn from. Yours to shape it however you see fit. There is always enough time to go through your tunnel and heal. There is always another option when it feels like something you should just “ get over “. Know that its okay to take the time and grow through something, because who you will be on the other end of that tunnel will be ten times better then the man or woman that walked in. Thank you so much for reading. Share this post with your friends, family, social media, or anyone who needs help getting started on their tunnel walk. Also if you haven’t already subscribe via email with the button below so you never miss any updates. If you don’t check your email on a regular basis , my blog also has an official instagram “ @speakwithloveblog “ you can follow me on there to also see all of my blog topics and updates. Enjoy the rest of your day. Remember to speak bold, speak bright, and most importantly speak with love 💕✨

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